Day 20

I'm thankful for Thanksgiving break. And the time to relax and read and study and play with my camera and just not stress about anything. It's so nice really.
<3jen

But last night was different.

Last night my family and I worked at our church's homeless ministry. Usually I'm passing out desserts, Mom is giving them toilet paper, and Dad is greeting everyone and carrying their things to their cars.
But last night was different.
Since it was Thanksgiving week, volunteers were overflowing the place. There were fifteen little children at a one person station. Usually having so many people is cumbersome. No one really works, and no one is really needed.
But last night was different.
Mrs. Fran immediately grabbed my family and put us as the end of the line, praying a "Thanksgiving blessing" on the men and women receiving the food and toiletries. It was heartbreaking to hear some of their prayer requests... "My son is in jail." "I'm separated from my 5 children." "I just got out of the hospital and found out last week now I have cancer!"
But somehow, praying over them changed my perspective. Crazy how small my problems, my grades, my arguments seem compared to theirs. I'm so blessed, I wish I could do more for them...

Praying for others grows your love for the hurting. I'm sure of it.
<3jen

Don't forget them

I know I say this a lot, but really.
I reach out to so many people, trying to touch their lives, be there for them, that sometimes I wish people would do the same for me.
And if you've reached out to me in the past and now are completely ignoring me? That hurts worse than the ones who never reached out.
Seriously, y'all? Sometimes, all I can say is that you suck.
I don't give a crap about why you aren't talking to me and honestly I wouldn't talk to you now if you begged me to... But please realize all the people you are giving up on. They may not be as strong as me.
Suicide isn't for the weak. But for those who have been too strong for too long.
Open your eyes and your hearts people.
And I know I'm just as guilty of this as most. But still. Realize your idiotic habits and reach out. Life isn't all about you.
(Okay, rant over.)

<3jen

Day 6

I'm thankful for presidential elections and the ability for us to vote.. Even though I'm too young to vote this time anyway.

Day 5

I'm thankful for worship songs... And amazing classes at auburn.

Day four

I'm grateful for caring choir directors who don't make a face at you when you sing extra loud during a rest... Unlike the rest of the choir... Y'ALL.
Failure moment.

<3jen

Day 3

I'm grateful for my own bathroom. And room. And closet.

Deformed desires

Huh. God works in mysterious ways, no? I have been reminiscing all evening about my depression (cued by my psychology chapter) and then in my devotional it starts talking about how we need to be grateful for our convictions of our "deformed desires." Cause, by golly, if He hadn't convicted me... I would not be here. Like, I'd e dead. Praise Him from whom all blessings flow.

<3jen

I just read back through the first dozen posts that I made on here... Some days I feel awful still, but really? I've come a crazy long way. And I don't ever want to go back.
<3jen

Day two

I'm thankful for good music to listen to... Encouraging music, depressing music, worshipful music, happy music, study music... Just all music. I love it.

Day one

I am thankful for good friends... Friends who will stand in line to go see Bill Nye, for friends who will help me when I'm struggling with psychology, for friends who open themselves up to me and let me pray for them, friends who always make me smile... Friends who will read this... Aka, YOU.