Pouty pants pro

So there I stood in church, pouting because no one had said a word to me besides "excuse me" when they crawled over me.

I felt invisible, worthless.

We started singing, and of course I started crying when the words sang about how faithful God is, how he's always there for us. But this wasn't really unusual. I always cry during worship. Then I go back to pouting because no one talks to me.

But tonight was different.

A older black gentleman put his stuff down in the seat next to mine and stood there sipping his coffee while the rest of the room was worshipping. Me, pouting and crying, didn't really think anything of him.... Until we sat down and I felt God tugging on me to talk to him, or since we didn't have our usual 15 seconds of meet and greet, to at least smile at him. So I did.

But that tugging feeling didn't go away.

I was scribbling notes when the man leaned over and asked me if I had any spare paper. I of course didn't, but instead, i got up (in the middle of the service, mind you) and went and got him a piece of paper. Surely then God would get off my back and let me go back to listening and pouting.

But He didn't. And I didn't go back to pouting. Something changed.

I remember what my dad always used to tell me: to make a friend, you have to be a friend. And then it hit me. I shouldn't be so preoccupied about no one talking to me when I'm not doing the talking either!

But I digress.

So after the service was over, I introduced myself to Dennis and we got to talking. He explained a bit of his life story and how he hasn't been to church lately, but wants the Holy Spirit to keep him going like it used to. So God poked me again and I asked Dennis if I could pray for him. And he said yes (really, I've never met anyone who's been extremely opposed to anyone praying for them). So there we stood, my little white college girl self putting my hand on this tall scruffy black man praying to God for healing and strength.

I don't think Dennis was the only one touched by God tonight.

My little pouty self got a revelation. Going to church isn't at all about me singing beautifully and getting compliments, or me getting something out of the sermon, or me having a good song verse to tweet about... But the whole point is to worship God through loving everyone else. And in doing so, you too will be blessed.

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Random deep musing of the day. These have been coming a lot lately. I guess this end of the semester has left me with a lot to think about.

<3jen