English comp 2 is my nemesis

I will get another B this semester. And it will be in English. I'm trying to tell myself that if I get above a 85 on every paper I'll be okay.
The problem is I'm good friends with the world's best writer so when she's getting 99s on everything, I feel like poop. Ah well. At least I'm not a failure at everything. I mean, I make people smile occasionally, I'm not the worst photographer, and kids seem to like me. Life's not so bad after all... Now if only this paper would write itself... ;)
<3jen

Valentine's day makes me depressed. Not because of my lack of a male partner (I really couldn't care less about that) but because of those I love.
3 years ago today my granddaddy died from lung cancer. Then Nana died 5 months later from a broken heart and Alzheimer's... It was a very, very rough time for my family.
A few minutes ago my other grandmother called to tell me that my granddad isn't doing well. In addition to his heart problems and inconsistent blood pressure, the stomachs virus is leaving him very weak. I pray that he isn't getting sick for the last time...
***
This day of frivolous romance is just another painful reminder of how short life is. So love freely today. It could be someone's last.
<3jen

Shamelessly gameless

People always ask me why I don't have any games on my electronic crap. Not on my phone, tablet, or my computer. My response? "I don't have time!"
Ive seen addict traits in certain friends of mine who are constantly on their phone. I've seen my roommate fail a test because she stayed up until 3am "destroying the world." I've seen relationships fall by the wayside when flying pigs becomes more important than the divorce of your friend's parents.
Really, America? Is your game so important that NOTHING in life appeals to you? Don't you feel guilty at all?
But really. That's why I don't have any games on my phone... I chose friends over entertainment. Why don't you give it a try? In the long run, who really cares what those four images have in common... I'd rather figure out why those four slits appeared on my friend's wrist. Wouldn't you?

<3jen

I don't necessarily struggle with forgiving people, but more so with not getting upset at their every status and every comment made about them. It's horrible really. I'm actually happy when something goes badly for them. It's something I've recently been cursed with...And I hate that I can't stop it on my own.
God, move in me. Teach me to love again.
<3jen

Birthdays

People will never be able to fully understand the accomplishment that every birthday of mine celebrates. It marks another year survived. Another year filled with God and friends and family and all the things worth living for... It's a really big deal.
So here's to 18. May I live well, love much, and be a little bit of fantasticalness to the little bit of the world I am a part of.

<3jen

Off-guard

I have gotten used to many many things here at Auburn... But I don't think I will see get used to hearing a teacher swear.
I mean, it's normal to hear my friends and peers say shit and fuck and stuff like that... But when teachers do it? It blows my mind.
I guess growing up in school where the teacher is practically preaching every other sentence, it's just not normal to me to hear them use such vulgar terms. I'll probably get used to it. just like I am used to hearing it in movies, books, friends... but still. It never fails to catch me off-guard.

<3jen

Word of the year

Usually people are all like "I thought long and hard about my word of the year" or "I prayed for hours concerning my word of the year" and these things are all good and well but my word came suddenly to me this year.
I hadn't really thought I was going to have a word, per se, for this year. But I was sitting in church on Sunday and this word slammed in my head.
Control.
That's what I struggle with. Controlling my emotions, controlling my self-discipline, control in my dancing, and most of all, surrendering my control to God.
So I don't necessarily have a list of goals or resolutions for this year, but just a simple word.
Next year at this time, I want to be able to say I've gotten my life under control and have given up the control. It'll be a challenge, but it'll be definitely worth it.

<3jen