financial advice

“If you’re gonna get better, you’ve gotta look at where you are and how you change it.”

my finance teacher was getting off on a tangent about being in debt.. but i found that this applied to life in general.

“Your triggers are why you keep falling backwards into the same things you’ve been doing.”

people ask me what my triggers are, and i can never think of a “goodish” answer. but then it hit me today.

imperfection.

that’s my trigger. that’s why i hated myself. that’s why i push myself too hard. that’s why i got in this whole mess in the first place. i wanted to be perfect. and i wasn’t. so i beat myself up for it.

how do i conquer this, though?

grace.

i don’t accept grace like i should. i don’t deserve grace. but God gives it to me anyways. I shouldn’t be like the man who was given grace and in turn didn’t give it away. that’s me. i get grace from God, but i don’t give it back to myself.

kinda tough to chew on.

<3jen

winterfest

i was going back and rereading some of my blog posts.. and i really have come quite a ways since last november. it’s kinda crazy how God has changed my life.. but i am SO grateful that He has.

**

this weekend i went to winterfest. it was absolutely amazing. so many of the things hit me, but my favorite thing one of the speakers said would have to be

    “God does NOT give up on you, you give up on yourself.”

i don’t really know why this one phrase stuck out to me so much, but it did. God DOESNT give up on us. ever.

and that is how i think i’ve come so far.. with His help.. cause even though i thought that i was so worthless that nobody could even possibly want anything to do with me, God knew otherwise. He cared for me. He watched over me. He took me in His arms and loved me.

<3jen

photography.

It is definitely one of my passions. I love it. I love learning about it. I could spend hours pouring over photography books, and looking at pictures, and learning from others..

…but why am I not so passionate about God in this way?

I mean, shouldn’t we be so in love with God that we could spend hours and hours learning about Him? Talking to him?

 

just a thought..

<3jen

reading the billboards

some people think i’ve changed. and some haven’t even noticed anything.

but me? i think i haven’t really changed as a person, but i am dealing with the crappy parts of life differently.

at least i hope i am.

 

last night at the super bowl party for my youth group, my youth minister said something that stuck out to me.

are you going to church and just “reading the billboards”? or would you rather have the actual product or an amazing commercial? you can read the Bible and go to church, but in reality? you’re just reading the billboards. you must LIVE out your faith. and search for the real “product”. don’t be satisfied with the beautiful crap the world offers you. it’s not worth it.

that really hit me. i mean, sure. i’ve been focusing on myself and trying to get over this, but it’s kinda hard to “get over” anything without God. i’ve just been messing around with church not really focusing on the message and changing my life.

**

you should be so wrapped up in God as your Lord that others cant help but notice and want what you have.

i usually get all upset when i think about the bubble i live in. how i can’t witness to non-Christians cause i honestly don’t know any. but as people always tell me, you dont have to know non-christians to witness. the christians in your life need witnessing to too..

<3jen

Any other way..

 

I’m not gonna lie and say that i’m glad that i’m not throwing my problems on people. I miss being about to have one person I could talk to any time about anything.

But I guess, this is where God comes in.

He’s always there, always willing to listen to my rants.. to love me.

This doesnt mean we should not have people in our lives we can talk to and listen to. we should take God’s example and not just dump our problems on each other, but encourage through the trials.. and LOVE.

***

isn’t Tenth Avenue North amazing? I love these guys.. their music is so touching.. so true..

<3jen