… of EVERYTHING.
but, that’s no excuse to give up…… right?
im sick of all the “fake Christians”, of the hurt in the world, of distrust, of pain, and im so very tired of “good reputations”.
***
at church i’m the perfect little christian teenage girl. i go to all the classes. all the services. i know all the answers. am always happy. my life is perfect. i’ve got everything under control.
and its such a big lie.
im a “fake Christian.” and am NOT proud of it.
sometimes i just want to blurt out my whole story to everyone and explain that i’m really not who i appear to be.. but then that annoying voice in my head explains to me how stupid of an idea that is..
but honestly? what’s the point of this “good reputation”? its just making me more and more dissatisfied with church..
please tell me that i’m not the only one who feels like this.. who is so tired of keeping this “perfect” front up? maybe one day it wont be a front.. maybe it’ll be who i really am.. or at least partially. i really do want to be the best Christian that i can be.. for God’s glory..
<3jen
Jenna, you are mose certainly not the only one! I put up fronts all the time. And I know lots of other people who do as well. In fact, my resolution this year, is to just be more real. Mote open to others, not just one or 2 people, to be more vulnerable, and to make new friendships based on the real me. :)
ReplyDeleteyou are so not alone. everyone is like that.
ReplyDeleteLF